I left for work yesterday utterly drained. Maybe it was the ending of Missing Noir M (which was pretty dang unsatisfying–where’s my season 2???), maybe it was that neither of the Chinese dramas I tried after that or My Girlfriend is a Gumiho hit the spot as a follow up drama–or maybe it’s just that I’ve been on the computer too much lately.
I started to realize it after I discovered I spent more time shut away than elsewhere. I’d wake up, check my computer, get breakfast and come right back to the screen. I’ve spent increasing amounts of time and things of little value (not that watching K-drama is of little value, it’s just… not as productive as yardwork or studying). And when it reached a certain point, I felt overwhelmingly empty.
This has brought me to a conundrum: I don’t want to give up the things I enjoy on the computer, but I also recognize the need for more balance in my life. Everything has a balancing point, and I just need to find mine. This was what got me thinking–how beautiful our world is.
How beautiful is the universe that runs with balance. Things in motion slow down when introduced to another object or substance. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The earth goes through cycles, warming and cooling over the millennia. Life is created, decays and gives new life. Everything has a balance.
Our universe is one of order, one of opposites and carefully planned reactions. Some people believe in a Clockwork God; and while I don’t, I have decided He made a lot of smart decisions when creating our world. He doesn’t have to ensure that every snowflake reaches the ground or that every sliding block eventually stops. He created the universe to maintain a balance within itself.
There’s a balance of scope, as well. You can look at the heavens and see the milky way, Saturn and Venus and a star that’s millions of light years away. Or you can pull out a magnifying glass and study the smallest creatures within a tiny patch of earth. Each ecosystem has threats, problems to deal with and a lifespan. Each finds balance in its existence. When you consider the breathtaking balance present in every area of the universe, it’s rather more remarkable that Humans have created what they have. As a race we have somehow managed to ignore the laws of balance and run ourselves harder and harder, faster and faster over time. We learn and invent and experiment, not often pausing to sit and enjoy what we’ve done.
But that does not make us the exception to the rule. As people, we need balance in our own lives. Not just a break from the screen or the tv, but from work and from school and even from other people. Your inner life needs as much care as your outer. Too much of a good thing can be hurtful. Too much chocolate and I gain weight, too much dieting and my ribs show, too much tv and my brain rots (as my mother says). Any area of your life can become too heavily exercised, and that’s never good.
I’ve discovered that life feels less easily handled when I’m out of balance. Problems seem larger, my worries seem more justified when they aren’t and I appear to have more on my plate than before. It piles higher and higher until it feels like… too much (heh, see what I did there?). Often my first reaction is to stop everything, lie down and stare at the sky for a good long while. And yes, that can sometimes be effective. But what I’ve decided helps me the most is to take a moment to evaluate my life and pinpoint the aspect that has grown too large. If I isolate that instead and manage it, then I can continue to feel productive as I find my way back to balance.
It’s just a thought, but where does your life lose balance?
Thanks for reading,